Every bunny was kung-fu fighting

Time goes by slowly on the beach. But the days add up quickly. So most days start out with a walk through the neighborhood, followed by kayaking along the shore and into the nearby tributary. Then there’s tea and toast and idle chatter and inappropriate laughter over any given topic before settling into full days at the beach. There have been a few exclamations of, “It’s only noon?!” as the days have passed. It’s glorious.

So Kate is our resident extrovert. Need someone to talk to random strangers on the beach in order to get in on their fire? Ask Kate. Need a crowbar to get you out of the house and into public? Ask Kate. Need someone to arrange awesomeness? Ask Kate.

Kate got us off our asses for a seal tour on day 3. The Perseverance leaves Harwich Port a few times a day and goes out to Monomoy Island, a sandy island off the elbow of the Cape. As the boat got out to deeper water, we would occasionally see a head poke up out of the water. A person would point excitedly and everyone would strain to catch a glimpse. But as we got closer to the island, we hit the jackpot. So. Many. Seals. And they were adorable. We stared at them. They stared at us. And I just wanted to hug one. I know, I know. But you try going on a seal tour and not going awwww



I have a fantastic propensity for getting seasick despite all preventive measures. So Dramamine and Sea Bands (or, as I call them, Rick Springfield bands, because fuck yeah) combined still make me feel like hurling, and I was one hurting unit stepping off the boat. And the one thing that calms my stomach…grease. So I present to you a seasick gal’s lunch…

Because Saltines are for amateurs.


Kate’s last morning with us focused on the boardwalk in Sandwich. A pretty stretch that goes over marshland and dunes out to the public beach. Osprey nests, schools of fish in tributaries, and a continuation of the amazing aquamarine color of the water on the bay side of the Cape. It was great hanging out with you, Kate. Glad we got the quality time together.


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Next up: Maureen! As Kate drove away and Maureen rolled in, Noelle said, “Now it’s just the introverts.” Those who know us argue this point, but it’s true. We are a brash, loud bunch, but we do not derive our super powers from spending time with other people. Pair us with pomegranate martinis, however, and we do have special powers. People in the surrounding cabins might argue this, but I feel the awesomeness.

Also awesome is the wine bottle cooler that Noelle’s sister, Julie, gave as a gift. Julie, we’ve been using the hell out of that thing. One cannot drink warm prosecco on the beach. To say you’re a lifesaver is not an understatement. And it helped capture the only picture in which Maureen wasn’t making an awful face. So kudos on two counts.


Before I close this post, it would be wrong to leave out one of our favorite sources of amusement: the bunnies. They’re everywhere! They hang out in front of our cottage, they play with each other in the dunes. They’ve provided us hours of amusement. But do you think I can capture a picture of these little bastards? Of course not. They move so fast. And I have to put my drink down… Maureen helped me out by slowly making a shadow puppet until I could capture the real thing. Cheers

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Magic unicorns coming out of the sea

Massachusetts natives come in two flavors: those who own summer homes on Cape Cod and those who have been to the Cape once or twice to visit those first people. I fall into category 2. I can count the number of times I’ve been to the Cape on one hand.

My friend Noelle, bless her heart, is from New Jersey. She’s been in New England about 25 years, but every once in a while she brings up something I totally take for granted and makes it new. Like last summer, when she decided to check out “a place called Hampton Beach.” Being horrified there as a child, teen, and adult, it was awesome seeing it through her eyes. I’m not suggesting anyone else go to Hampton Beach. But it was fun introducing it to an innocent.

And so it was when Noelle put her drink down mid-conversation one day, walked over to her computer, and rented a cottage in East Sandwich. And now, two months later, here we are. At the Cape. Staying in a totally cliché and wonderful gray shingle cottage just a short walk over a dune to the bay.



Several characters will be rotating through this week, starting with our friend Kate. She has graciously been carting our asses around and showing us the sights. A Buffalo-area native, even Kate knows more about the Cape than I do. See? Proper Masshole.

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Noelle, me, and Kate on our private beach.


On the way into town for dinner on the first night, Kate’s XM Radio station was set to the 80s. And the song “Never Gonna Let You Go” came on. Noelle sang with heart…

I’m never gonna let you go
I’m gonna hold you in my arms forever
Gonna try and make up for all the times I hurt you so

Gonna hold your body close to mine
From this day on we’re gonna be together
Oh, I swear this time I’m never gonna let you go

“Wait, what if she wants him to let her go?” Kate asked. “Yeah, what if he farts?” Noelle wondered aloud. “Jesus, it’s a death trap!” Noelle exclaimed. “No, girl. Don’t do it!” Kate pleaded. For the girl in the song. I watched the scenery out the back window and smiled. This is vacation with my girls.

Also indicative of vacation with my friends is the painfully obvious lack of nutrition.

Wine, prosecco, hard meat, and cheese. Someone please have mercy and send us fiber!

But we have the cutest sugar cubes for our morning tea.


Noelle keeps it classy with sugar cubes. I am keeping it real by eating them straight when she’s not looking.


Noelle and I dig kayaking. But bringing her hard-shell kayaks down was becoming an expensive and logistical pain. So she followed my lead and bought the same inflatable I have. We suited up and took to the water in our matching kayaks. We checked out a nearby river, fought currents, and watched crabs float by just under the surface. I wouldn’t take these things out on anything too choppy, but otherwise, they’re perfect for our needs.

“To Provincetown,” I shouted. Which is funny because Ptown is ridiculously far from here and I’m in an inflatable kayak. Not gonna happen.


Day one was marvelous and neverending. A morning walk followed by a kayak ride followed by a trip to the grocery store for a smidge of nutrition and a million unhealthy impulse buys. (Kate insists the ice cream sandwiches are a matter of health and responsibility because, “What if we have a few drinks and then someone wants ice cream? No one will be able to drive to get it.” So we HAD to get them. It was the responsible thing to do.) The afternoon was a series of naps punctuated with some reading and mild banter. We read and slept on the beds, couches, beach…or maybe they both read and I slept. That’s probably more accurate. And in the evening, we made our way to the beach and shared a bonfire with a clever, handsome young guy named Connor who knows that the way to an old lady’s heart is with banter and well executed Monty Python lines. We looked at each other over our full wine glasses and marveled over this perfect day. Kate asked what could possibly make this day any better. Noelle and I both said, “Maybe if a unicorn came out of the sea right now…”