I just want to start by saying that there are sheep on the dryers in Norway. I repeat, cute sheep icons on the dryers.

And yes, we did laundry. And yes, we just made educated guesses. Do you remember those videos of what it’s like to be illiterate in the grocery store and accidentally pick up Comet when you mean to grab Kraft parmesan in the green can? Did I just date myself? Anyway, it was like that. “I think this is detergent…” “I think that means extra dry…” Noelle’s knowledge of German has been helpful on this trip.

So on day 3 in Bergen, I started out with a little sightseeing on foot.

Then Noelle and I did the proper fjord cruise. We picked a 3-hour tour to keep things light. And we lucked out with the most incredible weather. I got a sunburn. In Norway. I didn’t think that was possible. Hell, we didn’t even pack sunscreen.

I’m just going to let the pictures speak for themselves.

Then it was one last spin around the city to take it all in before an early departure for the airport. One thing that I find disturbing in this lovely city is the “art.”

Close up? No, Norway. No.

What do you think this is, America?

This is what Rick Steves means when he mentions the “anatomically correct unicorn.”

Whatever, Norway. Go ahead and act reserved and then ritz up your town with a bunch of naughty bits and gun furnishings. I’m on to you. And I like you. And I’m going to get fit to look better in spandex and rob a bank so I can afford you and then I’ll be back! You heard me. Until we meet again…